How to bring back the spark in your marriage

Often if couples have been together for a long time the passion can subside and they lose that spark.



When the honeymoon period is over we are no longer blinded by love but start to see each other’s really annoying faults of not putting the toilet seat down, snoring, leaving lights on and fighting over the age old debate of which is the correct way to put the toilet paper.

We become life zombies! We give in to the mundane of everyday life and start existing but not truly living.


Replace boredom for fun! Do not settle for just waking up, working, eating and sleeping! Enjoy all that life and a relationship has to offer! Play games, no I am not talking about sex games but those can be fun too, I mean bring out the cards or the scrabble and get away from each being attached to their own screen, TV / phone or computer! Kick technology to the curb and go for a walk on the beach or in the neighbourhood. Go on a wine and cheese picnic or send the kids out and have a nice candle lit romantic dinner for two. Go on an adventure together and get that adrenalin pumping. Take up rock climbing, attend a cooking class, an art class, a ballroom dance class or enter a trail-running race together.


Have more sex! Not having sex becomes a habit. In a busy world you have to schedule it in, plan a romantic night in, put some effort in! Men, groom yourselves nicely and woman quit with the ‘I have a headache’ excuse, you can still have sex with a headache and guess what? You will enjoy it too because it’s SEX! If you don’t enjoy it then learn to enjoy it! Sex releases oxytocin and increases dopamine levels in the brain. It also strengthens the bond between you. Change it up! Change the time of day you have sex or where you have sex. Experiment with different positions. Don’t be afraid to get down and dirty if you know what I mean! Enjoy it!

Prioritize each other; make each other feel special and amazing. Choose to say at least one kind thing to each other every day. Choose to Compliment instead of criticize. Focus on what you are grateful for in that person.

Surprise one another with gifts. Always make an effort to remember special occasions such as birthdays and mother’s day but unexpected gifts for no reason or a made up reason can be even more special. Write love notes and hide it in his lunch or under her pillow.

Do chores that the other partner usually does but hates, if it’s washing the dishes or cleaning the toilet, a little bit of effort shows that you care. There is nothing sexier than a man with a vacuum cleaner or a man at work in the kitchen cooking dinner! Yeah baby!

Nothing is impossible, that spark can be reignited as long as each person in the relationship is putting in the time and making an effort!



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