Help! I have a crush on my friend’s husband.

How to work around this danger zone!

There is just no way this can turn out well. It may start out so innocent, your friend isn’t paying attention to her husband or is even running him down in front of you. So you start to comfort him or take his side. You may be left alone with him on occasion and you find communal interest in things.


He starts to enjoy the attention and you love to give it! He may even flirt a little. You start to text one another or find reasons to see each other. But before you know it WHAM!, it hits you like a brick in the face! You have developed feelings. And once you are here it is already dangerous territory because emotions take on a life of their own. We cannot always control them and that leads to making really stupid choices.

So what do you do?

Do not even entertain the thoughts. You have to ignore your feelings and set some boundaries in place. Do not text him at all! Do not be left alone with him. Put some distance between you. Fake it till you make it. Just pretend those feelings aren’t there! That is just best for everyone involved especially you. You could be the one that ends up being hurt or rejected and that will be very painful.


If it gets to such a point as you feel you cannot control your feelings, sacrifice the friendship for the sake of the marriage. Although it may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, that is better than the result of destroying a marriage. If you do confront him it may end the friendship anyway.

Know the difference between love and lust. Love is selfless and lust is selfish. Love is about what you can do for that person and Lust is what that person does for me.

Think about the consequences of your actions. Look long term. Weight the different outcomes and what would happen if you acted on your feelings. Use your head and not your heart because we cannot trust our hearts all the time.

“Lust is temporary, romance can be nice, but love is the most important thing of all. Because without love, lust and romance will always be short-lived.”

Danielle Steel


Find out what you are missing in your life that you would stoop to this level and try to rectify it. Build a value system that you can adhere to. Find your identity and learn to be secure in yourself. Get some outward focus and direction. Keep busy. Get a hobby! Dive in to sports or activities and before you know it you will have moved on wondering what on earth you were thinking anyway! One can overcome any obstacle faced in life, there is always a solution. Sometimes all that is required is a little patience with the circumstances and with yourself.

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