If you have to ask yourself, then you are probably not getting married for the right reasons. Always trust your instincts. If you have red flags warning you that it’s not the right thing, then it’s probably not. Trust your womanly intuition to lead you. You should feel a peace and a joy mixed with a little bit of fear of the unknown, but not doubt.
Wrong reasons to get married
- To have sex.
Usually in most religious settings where you are not allowed to have sex before marriage, couples feel hurried into early marriage so that they can have sex. But this is not a great foundation for a marriage. The sexual lust can fade and then so will the marriage.
- To ease loneliness.
You are tired of being single. You fear that no one else will marry you. It can be tempting to just settle with someone so that you do not have to be alone. You feel that you need a companion and become impatient waiting for the right person. You will never feel content and can still end up feeling alone.
- To be happy.
No one else can complete you, you have to be secure in yourself and in whom you are. If you expect someone else to make you happy you set expectations of perfection that cannot be achieved and will end up living a life of disappointment.
- Because of a pregnancy.
Women feel they cannot do it on their own and feel they have to get married for the baby’s sake. Maybe they are fearful and are feeling that they need the security of a husband to look after them. This too is not a reason in itself to get married. Sometimes the families can pressurise pregnant women into getting married but a marriage without Love is not a relationship at all but and just an institution.
- For money.
As they say “If you marry for money you’ll pay for it”. Money can dwindle. There is nothing wrong than wanting a bit of security and stability but to seek out someone just for their money will not end well. Your will forfeit love and happiness for a life of loneliness and nice shoes.
Right Reasons to Get Married
- You are in love with one another.
Love has to be the foundation of any marriage. I am not talking about just a feeling but a love that is surpassing of just emotions. It endures, hopes, trusts, never gives up and becomes a decision to be there for each other in the face of anything.
- A desire to share your life with another.
You want to spend time together. You enjoy each other’s company. You want to grow with that person emotionally and be there for one another while you are still free to live your own dreams. Having mutual submission for each other and laying down your lives for one other.
- Realistic expectations.
You are aware of each other’s imperfections and don’t have unrealistic expectations. You may snore; he may not pick up his clothes. You understand that there will be ups as well as downs. That there are memories made in the journey of learning together.