We spend a lot of time in our love bubble ensuring that we make the best out of every moment we are with our partners.
Conversations are only to know each other more not to interrogate each others about our past. People are spending less and less time dating before they get married, this making the chances of getting to know each other at a minimal. There are things that are vital for you to know before the big day and beyond that (marriage life).
Money is one of the leading causes to divorce so it is important that you familiarise yourself with spending habits of your partner. Try detect their spending patterns because these with be indicators of your future with them. Also make certain that you know of their financial history; loans they have made in the past and what were they for, how they settle their debts and generally what they spend their money on.
You don’t have to be a detective about it because for most part you have observed their financial behaviour but try to know more, let it all come from them. Remember in future you will have to combine your pay slips to buy property.
There are certain hints that men will drop about them not wanting kids, in most cases they grow to be more accepting and being open to the idea. But some cases you will find that they are extremely serious and this can cause problems in the marriage because with most people having babies is the next logical step after getting married. If you think you can change their minds, try doing it before you get married because you don’t want to end up being miserable in a marriage leading to divorce. Both of you need to be in agreement of your future plans.
We hold religion close to our hearts and it guides the way we should do things and behave in certain situations in our lives. If both of you have different religious beliefs, it will prove hard for you to run your relationship especially if one religion opposes the other’s practices. If neither of you will be willing to convert there need to be reconsidering of the relationship.
Views on marriage
A lot of people get into marriage not really knowing what it takes to make it work. You have to know what your partner thinks a marriage is and what he thinks is required to make it work. I am quite sure you have, at some point, came across talks of “he was never like this” or “after we got married he changed”. We have expectations and it would be nice to know of them before marriage. Lay everything on the table; changes that will come with being married and things both of you need to do to keep each other happy. Tell him you will expect him to help around the house even after you are married because somehow once they put that ring on your finger they let everything pile up on your shoulders.
You will also pick this up while you are dating but get in-depth plans. Listen for big things like his plans to move to another country in five years time or even if he is looking to have another wife (polygamous relationship) in future; these are things you have to be aware of because they can be problematic in the future. There are also other things like what he wants to try out or places he is planning to travel to. Try to also be familiar with his friends; you will know that they are a big deal to him, so anything to make them happy right. You don’t have to befriend them just be friendly with them.