It’s high school antics all over again, you’re the frantic little eight grader with a crush on the head boy! He passes by throws his Colgate smile your way thus creating a melodramatic reaction which leads to the conclusion that he must be in love with you!
Now hold your horses, ladies sadly slow motion only happens in movies and a bright smile is not a declaration of his undying love for you. So how can you tell? In all honesty it would just be simpler if a guy comes right out and says it but one thing I’ve come to realise is that for guys opening up about their feelings and all other squishy stuff is like asking a Bonsai tree to tell you how it wants to be trimmed. This is why we read books and learn to read the signs, guessing and hoping for the best and in the end hoping that the way we treated the little tree pays off.
Look at his eyes
According to site called “Single Women” most body parts can be controlled except the eyes. His pupils will be dilated because they react on an impulse or feeling of excitement. Eyes can actually tell a lot about a guy’s behaviour, playful when he’s being sarcastic about your frizzy hair. Disappointment when he hears another man’s name and tenderness when you share a very intimate secret with him. The windows to the soul just became your escape code to telling if he might like you.
Social media can also be used to your advantage. He’ll talk to you – a lot. When he messages you while he’s out with his mates it’s definitely a good sign, it shows he’s thinking about you. He’ll comment on photos or posts you put on Facebook, instagram or twitter and share pictures with you saying things like “I thought you might appreciate this”
Planning: If a guy want’s to see you, he’ll go out of his way to make plans with you. It usually involves a list of suggestions from his side or a proposal. Another trait to look out for is if he does things you want to do even if he doesn’t like it, he’s compromising simply because he just wants to be in you company.
Gestures aren’t always a certain enough way to tell if a guy is into you. Some ladies see a guy open the door for them and immediately think he wants to marry you. This is just called being gentlemanly girls. Yes, this once thought to be extinct type of breed still exists sadly it’s not a clear indication. However that said, pay attention to the way he touches you, putting a strand of hair behind you ear, touching your leg or waist.
What he will or won’t say.
If a guy brings up interesting things you do or some of your accomplishments to his friends, it means he’s bragging about you in a sense. He’ll want his friends to like you too so he’ll say things like “Tell them about that thing you did…” or “She can do that too…” When you’re out with friends he’ll also make comments in front of them about something did. It can be anything from you accidentally kicking him, your embarrassing stumble or simply something adorable you did.
As time progresses he’ll become more open and share things about his past with you. He’ll be a little vulnerable. This is good it shows that he feels comfortable to share personal things with you. You’re now at a stage where you can both be honest with each other and that’s the best place to be.
Action deserves a reaction
Remember the little Bonsai – you cut a bit away and see how it reacts, there’s no other way to figure out if you’re doing the right thing. React on the gestures your guy puts out there. He won’t make a move if he feels uncertain about your feelings either so give him some conformation.
Be playful, witty and smart. The days where girls get guys attention by being stupid is over, if you’re looking for a one night fling then by all means that stuff is golden. If not then try to keep up with the conversation.
Silly banter and sarcasm is always good, if you catch him starring at you; instead of blushing and looking away comment on it. If a guy is strong and confidant return a favour but let him win once in a while. Remember that there’s a time to be strong and when to be vulnerable. Laugh at yourself, embracement is part of the deal, don’t hide the blush it’s cute.
Know when to walk away.
Some, not all, the good love stories end tragically which is why I thought it would be fitting to save this part for the end. If after a while there is no progression and a guy is playing around it’s time to call it quits. We are hopeless romantics and hope can sometimes be a lifesaver that’s tied to a sinking ship so there’s no point in holding on to it – it’s time to swim away.
During the pirate years the phrase “let him walk the plank” sent shivers down the accused’s spines, now however the latest shivers are caused by two simple words “friend zone”. It’s not necessarily a bad place to start but neither is it place we want to be. When he confides in you the way a friend does then you have to accept it for now, once you’re in the friend zone you’ll have to make the first move if you want out, but think about the importance of your friendship first, you don’t want to make it awkward and lose him altogether.
When he treats you like a place holder it’s not worth it. Learn to know the difference between playful banter and insults he should not be disrespecting you. If he can’t stay true to his word like making plans with you and then dropping you last minute it’s time to move on.
Go out and catch another fish – the ocean is big and vast! Going out on dates should not be feared but fun, besides what’s the harm in enjoying a free meal and getting some life experience out of it. Once you’re knocked down get back on your horse and stride like the queen you are. Men will notice and act upon it, you just have to learn how the read the signs.
Be patient with them, sometimes they can be a little slow but for now, instead of pushing for an evident sign just enjoy the game no matter how frustrating. A man’s dreams take a while to catch up with reality.