When was the last time you sat on a park bench? At times it can become pretty lonely and if it weren’t for the pigeons or squirrels pecking around, the scenery would be quite boring.
So you throw out some more crumbs and enjoy their tweets (see what I did there, twitter – tweets) okay moving on…
If only dating or romantic relationships were as simple as throwing crumbs. If we could keep guys interested by just spritzing some snacks out life would be a breeze. Dating wouldn’t be as scary and all of our insecurities would vanish the way mist does when the sun rises. Fortunately men are not pigeons and believe it or not there are guys out there who won’t just settle for crumbs. So how do we go about this?
I’ve gathered some info from guys and compiled a list of five Do’s and five Don’ts which pretty much sums up a fraction of the dating scene.
1. Don’t show all your amazing traits in one go
Naturally you’d want to impress him, but telling him about how you’ve saved a dog once and your outrageous trip through Africa alongside the favourite book you’ve been reading is a bit much. Take a breather and remember not to do all the talking. Save some of that conversation for date number two.
2. Don’t educate him (playing teacher teacher)
It’s true guys like a smart girl and it’s great if you know things about things, but save some of those brainy quotes for an Einstein convention. Don’t correct him every time he gets the date of some historic event wrong. Laid back casual conversation is more than enough. I know from a feministic point of view ladies might think it’s better for guys to fall in love with your brain but it’s even better if he falls in love with your heart.
3. Don’t carry baggage
This one is a no brainer, yet so many guys I’ve talked to say girls still bring this one up. You’ve dumped your ex so don’t try and revive that part of your life. “It doesn’t make us jealous and it does not make us like you more – it’s just irritating” says a 21 year old student. Talking about the past means you’re still stuck there, it’s great that you remember those moments but it’s more important to move forward.
4. Don’t hand everything to him on silver platter.
First and foremost you have an obligation to your fellow ladies. We are not cheap and uncanny or desperate. (That said we can move on). It should not be super easy to get something out of you, if that’s the case he can just as well go to a Mac Donald’s drive trough. If he does expect it from you the he’s devaluing who you are as a woman and you’re not just some doll he can play with. If you try too hard they can usually tell and desperation has never looked pretty on anyone.
5. Don’t be insecure
Be confidant in who you are. You’re on a first date so if his eyes happen to dwell on that girl walking into the restaurant with her tight jeans on, don’t freak out! In all the fairy tales men do two things: save the damsel in distress and make it their mission to keep their eyes peeled for beautiful women – it’s in their DNA. Seek and save. There’s no cause for alarm on your behalf. Stay cool. Rich Santos says that if he feels like a woman is too dependent, it’s unattractive and eventually it will push him away. “Men, just like women, are drawn to strength.”
6. Look at things through the eyes of a child.
For kids everything is new and exciting. I’m not hinting towards childish where you’d have to stick straws up your nose (although that would be funny) but more towards the playful and daring part. They’re not afraid of adventure, mischievous and always game for more. It will take the seriousness out of those awkward situations
7. Participate in his passions.
Talking or even doing something your guy likes can also appeal to him. A friend of mine mentioned that he finds women who work out very attractive – so if they really liked him they might put in an effort or maybe share his views on the subject. This doesn’t mean you have go out and become a pro at what your guy likes. Don’t force it because guys can see straight through the façade. Remain true to yourself.
8. Take control once in a while.
Sometimes women who take the rains can be just as intriguing as a damsel in distress. Instead of the guy having to suggest all the activities and romantic dates – why don’t you organise something, and make it something he’ll love! It’s good to follow but it’s even better to lead!
9. Keep up with the conversation
At least 75% of the guys I asked said that they love it when a girl speaks her mind and if she’s witty, clever and funny. She should not be fishing for compliments but in a sense, as some guys call it “tune them” with sassy remarks and “clever comebacks”
Girls thinking on their toes are an indication that she’s not afraid of a challenge and up for anything. Focus on what the guy is saying and take part in the conversation.
10. Always, always be yourself.
If you have to change yourself for the benefit of this guy it’s usually a sad and lonely road. “Without self-love it’s really hard to let someone else love you” (Dina Z Colada) the only bending over backwards you should be doing is in your yoga class, otherwise just quit while you’re ahead. The right guy will fall in love with you, not what you’re metamorphosing into. If not then he’s not the right guy.