I wouldn’t say that it’s an unlikely combination but it’s one that people, especially couples, are skeptical about. How long will it really last and what are the pros and cons to marrying your high school sweetheart?
We’re all out to find love, so what happens when we find love at such an early stage – do we feel like we’ve missed out on some of life’s curveballs and lessons?
Hubpages’ Shelley Williams willingly shares her view of getting married to her high school sweetheart and then getting divorced. “First, you begin to wonder who you are as a person; you look to your spouse and realize they have changed but not as much as you have.”
Don’t get left behind:
Your young with the world at your feet leaving high school should be that last push that encourages you to spread your wings and fly. Williams said leaving high school she still had the butterflies but she focused on that one person most of the time “I didn’t go away to college cause I wanted to stay close to home with my sweetheart” Later on she ended up staying in her hometown and not seeing much of anything because she was so infatuated.
In high school we have it all planned out and then comes real life. You end up being the new veterinary’s secretary and he applies as a local police officer. (At least you’re together now right?) All of your decisions are made by taking one another into consideration without regard for what you both want individually.
Williams also puts a lot of emphasis on losing touch with friends. This is an area where you have to pay close attention to. Be careful that you don’t get to grow, learn or shape yourself into the adult you want to be. Getting married straight out of high school means that you go right from being a kid at home to an adult with massive responsibilities.
“…as you mature and you look back on life you start to become bitter. You become angry with yourself for not following your plan of college, friends, good job, marriage and then babies. If one of you was always left holding the ball it can be a sour point in your relationship as well.”
This is what you’re future will look like (the greats and not so greats):
Friends and family back home will always see you as one person and you will be forever labelled “the high school sweethearts”. I know this to be a fact because I have two close high school friends who, to this day, are still together. When we talk about them to other friends we always add “They’re high school sweethearts.” or “They met in high school.” Your name will always have an “and” before or after it.
You’ll have missed out on living alone. If you both end up going to college you probably got to live in dorm rooms with a roommate and that might have been your only chance at having your own little space (which wasn’t really your own to being with).
I would not know whether to classify this as a great or not so great but if you’ve been with your high school sweetheart you can’t join in the convo when friends talk about their dating horror stories! This might actually be a good thing – because you didn’t have to go through all those bumps to find Mr Right
He’ll know what your faults and quirks were in high school if he’s stuck around this long it means he must be in it for the long haul and the other way around I guess. If you’re still as much in love with your man as the day you first set eyes on him then who’s to say it won’t last?
Will it last?
It’s the million dollar question but one that will forever stay unanswered. When couples in general give each other room to grow it will only benefit the relationship. There will always be that exception to the rule, the same goes for high school sweethearts. If you know what awaits you in future and you both keep an open mind then why not?
I for one am a huge fan of relationships in high school that blossom towards happy stable marriages! No one will ever know you better and he’ll practically be your best friend for the rest of your life. That said we can’t force something just because it seems plausible love comes in many forms but love can also mature and change over time and the best thing we can do in that situation is accept it and move on.