Hearing the words “congratulation you are pregnant” puts a smile to a lot of women but to some, it might be the most heart-wrenching news. Not every woman would like to have a baby; it could be due to various reasons that lead to only two options: termination or adoption. It is never easy to be in that position –it requires for you to familiarise yourself with adoption procedures and ensuring that giving your baby up is the “right” decision for you and the baby.
Why women give their children for adoption?
It is not as simple as what most people may think. There are bonds between a mother and a child that develop during pregnancy and those are most likely reasons to why it could be a rollercoaster ride in making the final decision –one minute you would feel you want to keep the baby and the next decide to give it up. Women go for this option primarily because they don’t have the financial means to take care of the baby and others are not emotionally ready to have the baby; this could be; wanting to fulfil certain things that will be compromised by having a baby. And with most, it is because they are too young to take care for themselves let alone a baby.
Making the ultimate decision
You will have to communicate with the father of the child first before giving the child up for adoption; there have been a number of conflicts around the issue. If both parents are completely sure with the matter they can go ahead with the next step.
Make sure you see a counsellor to talk about your emotional state. You will want someone to communicate your fears with, one that will not be judgmental towards your choices. Counsellors will walk you through all the steps providing a soft cushion to fall on. They will also educate you on the matter and give you a list of things and feelings you can expect at a later stage. Try to stay in therapy throughout the pregnancy and even after it.
Birth parents have rights which most women have no knowledge of, consult about those rights and be completely aware of things you can and cannot do. Visit a family law attorney so you can exercise your rights and your responsibility around the adoption of the baby.
Deciding on the right adoption agency
You will want a place that will provide good care for your child therefore it is all up to you to research on various adoption agencies. Firstly do an online search and then follow up by contacting them. Visit the place and learn of how the agency cares for children given up for adoption. Widen your options by visiting more than one home, you will eventually find a place you will be comfortable to leave your baby in.
In an open adoption a couple may be introduced to you, it is therefore wise to be walked through all the steps. Have interviews with the couple and get to know them and their capabilities of giving your baby a loving and nurturing home. Some adopted kids can find themselves in abusive conditions so it is vital that you also interview people outside the family.
After everything has been talked through with you, you and the birth father will have to give consent to the adoption by filling and signing forms. You don’t have to sign right there and then, go through the papers, ask questions on things that are a bit unclear to you and make sure you understand what is required of you. And once you sign on that dotted line, it is final. Remember you can revoke the adoption within a 6 months period; of course there are terms and conditions.
Visit these sites for more information: www.oasishaven.org