Divorced and angry. Why is using the kids as a weapon against your ex is not only a bad decision but horrible for your children’s future

In a most unfortunate turn of events my children are put to the test and have become victims of circumstance. I decided to use them as tools to get back at my ex!


Why did I punish these innocent little children like this? We adults should know better than to act our shoe size instead of my age!

Both of us play with their emotions of self-worth which results in a process psychological damage. Neither one of us will retaliate in this bitter sweet battle.

The divorce came and went a tilde wave of exorbitant lawyer’s bills. He did not want to settlement on my terms and neither did I on his. Eventually we were both cash strapped and were forced settlement, agreement signed sealed and made an order of court, reflecting combined custody and control, miserly maintenance, contribution to costs in respect of school fees, medical bills and monthly maintenance … the children were exposed to all of this.


I made a vested effect to get back at him, how dare he just walk away from our marriage! He will pay dearly for all the pain he inflicted. He quickly walked away and started a new chapter with another person. Was I just an item of the past so soon after the divorce? Could he not wait, exiting our lives and moved on.

I will hound his haven unannounced, disregard the court order and guidelines set out in respect of visitation rights and access or keep the children away from him as and when I deem it fit. I slap him with every dirty tactic in this game, cause confusion and wonder to the children, the banshee swallowed a bitter pill, she stabs him emotionally with her tactics, in this sordid little game of revenge – as I cannot move on or refuse to.


I have developed murderous psycho tendencies, I pull the puppet strings on him using the children at every corner – no remorse, even though the children are suffering – concocting unfounded cases of emergency. He is forced to drop everything and attend to the children’s so called needs. He must suffer as I have suffered!

Do I really want my children to grow up like this, not really bonding with their father, I need to stop my venomous acts I on inflict psychological hurt, turmoil and pain to them. Was I turning into the narcissist parent from Hell?

Do I want my children to develop PAS (Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome),

“The late psychologist and researcher Richard Gardner said of PAS, the term he coined in 1985, “I have introduced this term to refer to a disturbance in which children are obsessed with deprecation and criticism of a parent –denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated.”


Although Richardson was unaware there was such a syndrome until well into a 12-year custody ordeal as a “target parent,” her detailed chronicle of a remorseless campaign to “disappear” her from Dash’s life by his narcissistic father is the human face behind the evils described in the PAS literature.”

The change starts here, we have to let go of the past and start living a healthy life – inclusive of having regard for our children’s health and psychological well-being – as the health and welfare of children is of paramount importance!

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